I’m sitting here at 2:30 AM watching Seth sleep and worrying…. Of course, I do that a lot… the worrying, that is.  But, this time is a little different.  With my anxiety, I am ALWAYS worried about something and even though it feels totally and completely real and important to me while it is happening, a lot of the time what I am worried about will probably not happen.  That is still true to some extent, but there is also a little more “realness” added in this time…

I discussed Seth’s time in the hospital and how he is recovering from Cellulitis/ Staph Infection in his leg in one of my last posts.  He has been hurting a lot more today.  I keep telling myself that he is getting better.  Every day the sores and redness have been improving and he no longer has a fever or any of the other more serious symptoms, but I am still concerned about blood clots.  His test for clots came back negative on the day he left the hospital, but that has been over a week ago.  Maybe the pain is just his body’s way of healing?  I really don’t know, but I am trying not to panic.

I really don’t feel like God is telling me to rush him to the hospital.  We are hoping to go Monday for his check-up since his antibiotics ran out yesterday.  I am trying to stay calm and trust God to show us what to do.  But it is so scary because he was actually in danger when he had to be admitted to the hospital.  I’m not used to Seth being sick or hurt.  I might worry abstractly about something out of the blue happening to him… like a car accident… but usually I don’t have to worry about a very real illness.

Please pray that God will protect Seth and that He will give us both peace and that we can trust Him.  Also, please pray that He will give us the ability to clearly discern His voice regarding Seth’s care.

“God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 NCV